


No Foul Play

by LadyDrace



Series: Junk Ficlets from Tumblr [127]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Future Fic, Happy Ending, M/M, POV Derek Hale, Pre-Slash, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 05:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12426252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDrace/pseuds/LadyDrace
Summary: Stiles finds a baby, and it's not his fault for once!





	No Foul Play

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bashfyl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bashfyl/gifts).



> Originally [posted on tumblr](http://ladydrace.tumblr.com/post/153262868661/for-the-tropesprompts-accidental-baby) for Bashfyl's prompt: "accidental baby acquisition".
> 
> Unbetaed.

”It’s not my fault,” is the first thing Stiles says as Derek cautiously opens the door. Hearing very different heartbeats on the other side of the door had already piqued Derek’s interest, but when Stiles’ is one of them, you never know what you might be greeted by.

 

A swaddled baby, however, is one of the few things not on his list.

 

”Stiles. Why do you have a baby?”

 

Without waiting for mundane things like an invitation, Stiles eases by Derek, cradling the bundle protectively to his chest as he steps inside. ”I found it. And before you start, I haven’t exactly checked the plumbing yet, I thought it was more important to get it inside.”

 

Derek rolls his eyes and decides he might as well roll with it. ”At least go with  _they_. Might be a baby, but they’re still a person.”

 

”Oh my god, okay. What are you, the label police?”

 

”Never too early to give a child a healthy self-image,” Derek says, and leans in carefully to get a better look at the child, the only visible features being a tuft of ginger hair poking out of the blankets.

 

”Holy shit, dude, you’re actually serious,” Stiles says in an incredulous voice, and Derek glares at him.

 

”Do you wanna take this baby somewhere else?”

 

This makes Stiles sober up, gratifyingly. ”No, no, it’s fine, I applaud you for your parental foresight, and I hope you end up with a whole football team of mini-yous.”

 

Derek forces down the twang of longing even the joking of a big family will always give him, and instead holds out his arms for the bundle. Stiles narrows his eyes at him. ”Dude, what are you gonna do?”

 

”I’m going to check if they’re okay. Unless you’ve already done that?”

 

”Well… no, I kinda didn’t stop for red lights,” he admits and hands over the baby, cradling the head with the exaggerated caution of someone clearly unused to holding babies. ”I found it-  _them_  in the woods, all alone, when I was out checking the wards. I looked around for who left it and I also checked for traps, but there was literally nothing around. And I dunno how long it takes for a kid this small to get cold, but like… there’s been no crying. Babies are supposed to cry. It’s a sign of health, right?”

 

”At the most basic level, yeah,” Derek says, gently putting the baby down on the couch so he can unwrap the fabric around them. ”Did you call your dad yet?”

 

”No, I thought it might be best to check for, uh… supernatural things first.”

 

Derek rolls his eyes again. ”Stiles, go call your dad. He knows about that stuff now, remember?”

 

”Yeah, but-”

 

”This is literally his job, Stiles. Call him. Now.”

 

”Okay, okay,” Stiles mutters and starts tapping at his phone, while Derek finally unearths a baby from the mountain of wrapping. The good news is that it gets warmer inside them the further he goes, but so far all he can really tell is that they’re a redhead and that the heart sounds healthy, if a little bit slow. The rate goes up, though, as soon as the last layer is removed, and wide, dark blue eyes fly open as the baby wakes up.

 

”Hello, little one,” Derek murmurs, and gently checks everything. No visible injuries, no smell of blood, or even a dirty diaper. The kid smells human and clean, looks well-cared for, and a quick peek tells Derek it’s a girl. ”Excuse me, miss,” he says, and smiles as she starts swinging her arms around, obviously perking up now that she’s done sleeping.

 

He turns to find Stiles holding the phone half-way to his ear, staring somewhat slackjawed at Derek. ”Weren’t you supposed to call your dad?”

 

”Uh… yeah! Right, yes, that’s… what I was doing.” Stiles turns on his heel and walks to the kitchen determinedly, and a few seconds later Derek hears him talking. He turns his attention back to the little girl. By his best guess she’s somewhere between four and six months old, and she’s bound to get hungry soon, so he picks her up and follows Stiles to the kitchen to see what he might have that could work for baby food. Stiles makes an abortive motion towards her as Derek passes with her perched on his arm, but pulls his hand back when Derek turns so he can see that the baby is holding herself up okay. His concern for her makes Derek smile, at least up until the moment a chubby fist closes around the hair at his nape, pulling right where it’s most painful.

 

”Ow, ow, look, little miss, if you could just-  _ow_!”

 

Stiles bites his lip and hums in response to something his dad is saying on the phone, while Derek gently untangles his hair.

 

”If that was a hint to get a haircut, then consider the hint taken, little lady. Ow.”

 

Ending the call, Stiles cautiously comes over to get a closer look at her. She gazes back at him calmly, stuffing her fingers into her mouth as she checks him out in return. ”She’s a lot bigger than I thought. Guess there weren’t that many layers around her after all.”

 

”Bah!” she says, and Stiles’ whole face cracks in a grin.

 

”Oh my god, she’s so _cute_ ,” he whispers, and Derek shakes his head. Trust  _babbling_  to be what deems a baby cute for Stiles.

 

”Ba-ahhh!” she squeals and reaches out for Stiles, so Derek dumps her on him, and goes to check his cupboards.

 

”What did your dad say?”

 

It takes Stiles a moment to respond, apparently too busy making faces at the baby. ”Huh? Oh, right, he’s gonna check for missing persons and amber alerts on the down low, just in case, and then he’s gonna come over. Did you, uh…  _check_?”

 

”Her diaper’s clean.”

 

”No, you idiot,” Stiles huffs. ”I meant about the…  _human or not_ thing!”

 

”Then maybe you shouldn’t say it like a pre-teen says penis. It’s not a dirty word.”

 

Stiles sputters for a moment, but then stops again. ”Yeah, okay, you got a point. Sorry. I don’t know why I do that.” He bounces the girl a little bit, but she seems perfectly happy for the moment just chewing on her fingers and drooling on him.

 

”It’s okay, just don’t do it anymore,” Derek mutters, poking through his fridge. ”And to answer your question, she smells completely human.”

 

”Okay. So, what, we need Deaton?”

 

”I don’t think so. If I can’t smell it on her, I can’t think of anything she might be aside from human. She doesn’t even smell like magic, not even after you’ve held her. Pretty sure only humans have touched her before us. Aha!” he cries in triumph as he realizes he has a banana left in the fruit bowl, just so they have something if she suddenly demands food, and then he sets about making some oatmeal.

 

Stiles watches him move around with a frown. ”Aren’t babies supposed to eat, uh… formula or something?”

 

”She might still be on some kind of milk, yeah, but I think she’s big enough to at least be willing to try this stuff, and that should tide us over until we can get to the store. Or maybe ask your dad to pick some up on the way.”

 

”Oh, good point.” Keeping the phone out of the girl’s wet and grabby hands turns out to be a challenge, and Derek takes her once the pot of oatmeal is on the stove. He stirs it calmly while she babbles at him, and he nods along and replies vaguely, just to give her something to respond to.

 

”Dude, that is so cute, I’m dying here.”

 

”All babies are cute,” Derek huffs, because they are. No matter how much they scream or poke your eyes or scratch you with their tiny little fingernails, all babies are innocent and adorable in Derek’s opinion. He’s well aware that not everyone shares this opinion, least of all Stiles, who seems barely able to cope with a puppy.

 

But from how cow-eyed he is about this little girl, maybe things have changed on that front, and it makes Derek rethink how he looks at Stiles. He’s an adult now. Derek knows that, logically, but it’s like he’s never moved on from his mental picture of Stiles as a bumbling fifteen year old, and seeing him actually invested in the wellbeing of this kid is switching some things around in Derek’s brain. Stiles is twenty three, he could very well father a child at his age. And it seems he’s getting to a point in his life where he might even want to.

 

It makes old, almost-forgotten thoughts pipe back up, and Derek has to shake his head to quiet them down. This isn’t the time.

 

They’re in the middle of the interesting experience of feeding her the oatmeal, and getting most of it all over the towel Derek thought to tie around her neck, when the door slides open and John comes in, noticably empty-handed.

 

”Dad, didn’t you get my message? The formula and stuff!”

 

”Hello to you too, kids,” he quibs, and then bends down to smile at the food-smeared baby too for good measure. ”Turns out we won’t need any of it. A very distraught woman called in an amber alert right after we hung up, and social services are sending someone over right now. We’re gonna do a quick check to make sure there’s no foul play involved, but if all goes well this little nugget will be back with her mom before nightfall. Oh, and her name is Emily.”

 

”No foul play?!” Stiles sputters. ”She was left in the woods all alone! And for what, a prank or something?!”

 

Derek damn near breaks the spoon. The mere idea that someone would leave a baby in the woods for fun makes his claws itch.

 

”Apparently Emily has a big sister who’s getting really tired of not getting any attention, and so she convinced her father to take her and Emily for a hike in the preserve, and ran off with Emily while he was, uh… relieving himself. By the time he found the sister, there was no way to know where she left Emily. He searched as long as he could, but I’m guessing she was asleep and didn’t make noise he could follow. He was scared to go too far, and eventually went back to his car to charge his phone and call for help. Guess you must have come across her right around that time.”

 

”God, what kind of  _fucked up_ -”

 

”Stiles, the kid is seven years old, give her a break,” John says sternly. ”She had no intention of killing her sister, she was just upset and feeling neglected. Kids that age have very little concept of consequences of their actions. I agree that she definitely needs a little more education in basic responsibility, but now the parents are aware, and social services are gonna make sure nothing like this happens again.”

 

”Well. Okay, I guess… all things considered this is a happy enough ending. It was actually kind of a clever scheme,” Stiles says slowly, while Derek wipes oatmeal off Emily’s face.

 

”BababababaBAH!” Emily says, and starts making grabby hands at the banana.

 

”Aw, dude, she’s trying to say banana! How awesome is that!” Stiles gushes, and Derek rolls his eyes.

 

”Stiles, she’s literally only made that one sound so far, I doubt it’s actually a word.”

 

”Don’t listen to that old sourwolf, I know how awesome you are,” Stiles tells her, and she rewards his loyalty by grabbing his nose.

 

By the time the social worker arrives with a very welcome and well-equipped diaper bag, Emily is due for a change, but she rejects the offer of formula, so she’s at least well-fed.

 

”Dude, we totally managed a baby successfully for like a whole hour,” Stiles says smugly, and holds out his fist for a bump. Derek returns it after a heavy sigh, because he knows Stiles is gonna nag him if he doesn’t.

 

In short enough order the baby is packed up and ready to go, and Stiles waves goodbye to her with an exaggerated sigh. ”I can’t believe she’s gone. We’ve bonded, Derek. Bonded!”

 

”It was when she grabbed you by the nose, right?”

 

”I will have you know it was love at first sight, Derek,” Stiles huffs, and goes to see off his dad. When John leaves, though, Stiles immediately starts putting on his jacket. ”Sorry for leaving you with the mess, dude, but Dad needs me to come in and make an official statement about finding her, just in case things aren’t as cut and dry as they seem.”

 

”It’s fine,” Derek says shortly, and is struck with a sudden urge to  _do_  something. It could just be the unique and wonderful smell of happy baby still floating around the loft, but Derek is feeling reckless and weirdly selfish all of a sudden. He wants something like this for himself, eventually, and it seems like going for something else he wants might be a good first step. ”Maybe when you’re done you’d like to go out to dinner with me?”

 

He’s pretty sure he phrased it right, but Stiles still stops and stares. ”You mean like… hang out with pizza, right?”

 

”Well, sure, if you want pizza. But I meant as a date. It’s okay if you don’t want to-”

 

”Dude!” Stiles stares slack-jawed at him. ”In what universe would I say no to that?!”

 

Derek shrugs, a small bubble of happiness growing in his gut at the enthusiasm. ”It’s been a few years since the last time you objectified me, things could have changed.”

 

”Ugh, come  _on_ , I apologized for that!”

 

”Yeah. You did,” Derek agrees quietly. ”But still. It’s been a few years-”

 

”Yeah, but. It’s okay. I knew you weren’t… ready or whatever. I was okay waiting,” Stiles says, and Derek has to look away and clear his suddenly raspy throat. Maybe he’s been ignoring more than the fact that Stiles has been growing up while he’s been healing.

 

”All right. That’s. Thanks. Call me when you’re done?”

 

”Sure,” Stiles says, beaming at him as he goes to the door. ”I’ll call you, maybe.”

 

Derek follows him to the door just so he can slam it after him, and he can hear the cackling all the down the stairs.

 

Crap, he’s into that. There’s something wrong with him.

 

End.


End file.
